Psychiatrist Mikhail Labkovsky: Why does sexuality have nothing to do with age and appearance?

There are three things that don’t matter at all: age, appearance and character. Your sexuality does not depend on them
When a girl is 20 years old, she loves herself, she is not afraid of anyone, she chooses when she wants, she “walks” men as she pleases. The question is what will happen to her in 15 years? You just can’t recognize it. There is a kind of dissatisfaction, she doesn’t like herself, she starts visiting beauty salons and plastic surgeons, and all that for one reason – a pathological desire to keep her youth and finally like herself.

The typical gait of a woman over the age of 35 is with the toes inward. Movement is somehow unsafe. The woman starts to put on more and more make-up, because she is ashamed of her real face. But the unpleasant surprise is that all the ways to keep the youth, at any cost, do not work, writes

And here’s why:

A woman has a stereotype in her head: at the age of 20, everyone loved me. So, to be loved – I have to look like I’m 20 again. It never occurs to her that she loved herself when she was twenty. And as soon as she turned 35, she began to lose confidence in herself and her appearance.

There is a hypertophic cult of youth in our country. From the age of 20 to 40, a man does not think about his youth at all. And when he was 45 and older, the man realized with horror that he was getting old. And in order to make sure that he is still attractive, he starts looking for a young girl. By the way, it is not a fact that he will find her, but his great interest in a young girl gives birth to this cult: only young people love him, only young people want him.

Three things in life really don’t matter: age, appearance, and character.

Let’s not get tired of repeating that the people around you experience you just the way you experience yourself. This also applies to men, but it is not about them. How do you feel, how do you look. Why? Yes, because men will still not see your appearance, but your feeling for yourself. And if a woman is ready to walk around with someone else’s face, it seems that she is not ready to love herself, and no operation can change that.

What is sex appeal?

Sexual attraction is not a set of parameters that must be met. The body that the woman herself loves and considers sexy is sexually attractive. I can immediately name dozens of quite famous couples where a woman is not only not in line with the canon of beauty accepted in society today, but honestly she is not beautiful either. Yoko Ono is the clearest example. He doesn’t have a nice face, he doesn’t have a nice figure.

And Lennon was handsome, broad-shouldered, wonderful …

Pierce Brosnan and his wife weigh 120 kilograms.

Hugh Jackman and his Deborah.

Banderas and Melanie Griffith etc …

Sexuality does not refer to your body, weight, age, how many wrinkles you have and the like. Sexuality comes from within. Man is made that way, his psyche works that way. As soon as you start to like yourself, you immediately find a partner, attention … Neither age, nor appearance, nor facial expression have anything to do with it.