For many, this kind of relationship is unthinkable …
Did any great love end with ex-lovers starting to hang out? Now take a deep breath and imagine Ana Karenina, Karenina and Vronsky sitting at the table and talking about the new movie they just watched. Does not go.
A relationship with a person who has a romance behind them from which a friendship was born can be a very exhausting experience.
For many, this kind of relationship is unthinkable, but we are sure that a lot of people have gone through this situation imposed by their partner.
Most psychologists believe that the basic problem in this story is an unresolved relationship, and in addition, it can often happen that there is a potential obsession and idealization.
Socializing ex-lovers can greatly affect current relationships , which is why we decided to call psychologist Sanja Ranković Ilić, who explained to the Telegraf.rs portal whether it is normal to spend time with an ex-boyfriend / girlfriend, despite the fact that we are in a stable emotional relationship.
The need to socialize with a former partner in a stable relationship within a fulfilled partnership, in my opinion, should not exist and I do not consider it justified. Everything that matters to a person should be said openly and clearly. Without circling and playing games – says the psychologist.
If we decide to accept this kind of relationship, such a decision can put us in a trap from which we will find it difficult to get out . Apart from quarrels, numerous inconveniences and even the creation of mistrust in a relationship, it can happen that due to our partner’s friendship with the former love, we will be hurt, and in the long run we will even lose self-confidence.
Psychologist Sanja Ranković Ilić recommends that we set boundaries immediately, because that way we will be honest with ourselves and our partner. That way, we will ensure a healthy relationship, but also manage to prevent unpleasant moments.
– We should not accept what bothers us in the hope that the situation will change by itself, because we tacitly give permission for behaviors that do not suit us and thus we are spinning in a vicious circle